With Hope by Steven Curtis Chapman

She Has a Name...

Sweet reflections from a family of two about the daughter that has lived in their hearts and thoughts, though she has never been conceived. Grab a tissue and head over to Life as Two.

Adoption Loss: Through the Looking Glass

I've lived Robert and Heather's story, at least their first chapters of loss, repeatedly. (God had different closing chapters for our story, but that's a topic for another day.) What I love about Through Pain and Grace Toward Redemption is a perspective from the other side of the story. Thank you Gordon Atkinson for sharing Shelby's loving and courageous journey. I've lived a lot. I've read a lot. Little shocks me anymore, but the power of these words moved me to tears as God's grace once again crashed over my heart.

Translation to Czech

Yesterday, I learned from NavPress that Hannah's Hope: Seeking God's Heart in the Midst of Infertility, Miscarriage & Adoption Loss is being translated into Czech for distribution in the Czech and Slovak Republics!!! God never ceases to amaze me!

We are anticipating a journey of somewhere between 18-24 months before the translation in complete and the Czech version is available for purchase. Please pray with me that God will allow the translation to go smoothly and to His glory. I am also praying for the hearts of the women in the Czech and Slovak Republics, that God will meet needs through these pages, the He will bring healing to broken hearts.

Free Adoption Audio Book

Adopted for Life: The Priority of Adoption for Christian Families & Churches is available as a FREE audio download today at http://christianaudio.com/adopted-for-life-russell-moore
I gave the link a try and was able to download my copy without even having to provide a credit card or other billing information.
I have not read this book for myself, but have read pretty good reviews and figure the price is right today! (I believe one reader told me that author Russell Moore takes a pretty strong stance against reproductive medicine, but as I've said, I haven't read it for myself.) Have you read Adopted for Life? I would love to hear your thoughts!

Baby Cry, Battle Cry

I just read an incredible devotional by Joni (paralyzed from the neck down in a diving accident as a teen in the 60s - as a result, she has never had children). She was reminiscing about her first Christmas after her accident and how she felt so abused by God that He would take everything from her like that. And she went on to talk about how He began changing her heart over that year and what her second Christmas was like. You can read the whole thing at http://www.joniandfriends.org/blog/monday-dec-20th-update-joni/ but that statement that stood out me was:

Last Sunday our pastor said, "When the angels appeared over Bethlehem, theirs wasn't a lullaby, it was a battle cry." He's right. The birth of Christ may have ended the enmity between God and man with the announcement, "Peace on earth and goodwill toward men," but our adversary, the devil, only sneered at the peace-offering in the manger that night. It only heightened his war against God and His people -- Herod's slaughter of innocent babies in Bethlehem only proved it. And 2000 years later, the war is still raging. So friend, join me on the front lines. Nothing God ever asks of you is 'unreasonable.' It's why I pray that this Christmas week, no matter what your affliction, you'll find peace, once again, in celebrating all that the Father has graciously given us in His Son, our Savior. What a glorious and generous gift!

Once again a reminder that the coming of the Child brought with it such anguish, "Rachel weeping for her children and refusing to be comforted..." and that we are in a battle, not against flesh and blood. Praying peace for your hurting heart, that the wonder of His Sacrifice will shine through the sorrow.

Christmas Story, No Baby

If you find Christmas a hard time of year to cope with simply because of the focus on the Baby, here's a fresh look at the Christmas story from the Gospel of Mark, skipping right past the manger into the heart of the message...
The Messy Girl and Her Messiah/ - Thank you, Lysa Terkeurst, for sharing!

Grieving Christmas

One of the hardest parts of Christmas for me for years went beyond the "I want my baby" thing of watching adorable little ones dress for Christmas pageants, thinking of all we were "missing" on Christmas morning under the tree and so forth. For me the hardest part was that the very point of the holiday was focused around the expectation of birth, an infant Jesus, a pregnant and delivering Mary (and here she was a virgin and God gave her a baby when I couldn't even get pregnant with the help of doctors in the midst of a loving marriage)! :dry:

Gradually God helped me change my focus. I asked the Lord to help you be able to look past a pregnant Mary or a Baby in a manger, to remember the reason for this season is because our Father willingly became a grieving Dad to pay the price of my eternal adoption! ♥

My heart hurts for all the pain surrounding this season. How can I specifically be praying for, supporting, uplifting and encouraging you through the next few weeks? Have you found any "coping strategies" that make getting through the holidays more bearable?

Stepping Stones has recently shared a beautiful poem and encouraging letter about Christmas and Infertility at http://www.bethany.org/pdfs/SteppingStonesExtra_December2010.pdf - I pray this link will be a blessing to you today.

Win Gotcha Day Cards!

(In)Courage has shared a beautiful story of Adoption Adventure today. Leave a comment over there and you could win a package of "Gotcha Day" cards to share with friends building their families through adoption. :)

Hope, You Won Unforgotten Children

Hope (anewlife2004), last month you shared a comment on my blog in memory of your precious children, Zoe & Addie. You are the winner of my gently used copy of "Unforgotten Children". Please send me your mailing address by the end of the month so I can get the book in the mail to you.

National Adoption Month

November is National Adoption Month! Download your free copy of the 2010 National Adoption Month Calendar: 30 Ways to Celebrate Adoption at http://www.adoptivefamilies.com/printable/2010calendar.html or view directly online at http://www.adoption.com/national-adoption-awareness-month-2010/.

Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Day (Book Give Away!)

In recognition of Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Day, I would like to give away my (gently used) copy of Kristie Verret's new book Unforgotten Children: A Testimony of God's Healing through Miscarriage. I just finished reading this copy a week or two ago. It is a personal story of growth and reflection through loss. My favorite quote from the book is:

Each hardship left a gaping hole in my heart. Those holes HAD to be filled, whether I liked it or not. But if I didn't choose to fill them with God and His truth, then satan would begin to automatically fill them with lies leading to my feeling of separation from God.

For a chance to win, please leave a comment here, along with a valid email address or other contact information so I can get your mailing address from you if you win. If you have a child awaiting you in Heaven, I would love to hear your baby's name and anything else you want to share about him/her. {hug} The contest will remain open through the month of October, and a winner will be selected in early November. Please feel free to post this link or pass it on to others who might be in need of the encouragement of this book. (Leave me an additional comment for every way you pass along the link - emails to friends, facebook, twitter, post to your own blog, etc. - and receive an additional entry for each time you help spread the word!)




Remembering with love, Noel Alexis, Joel Samuel and Hannah Rose. Eagerly awaiting our reunion in Heaven!

Mommies w/ Hope

Mommies With Hope is hosting a give-away this week! Be encouraged by one Mom's story of love and loss, then enter to win Becky Avella's book, And Then You Were Gone: Restoring a Broken Heart After Pregnancy Loss, a Starbucks gift card or a HOPE magnet.

"And our hope for your is firm, because we know just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort." 2 Corinthians 1:7

Win I Will Carry You

Enter for a chance to win a copy of Angie Smith's I Will Carry You.

From the Christianbook.com website:

"Angie and her husband Todd (lead singer of Dove Award winning group Selah) learned through ultrasound that their fourth daughter had conditions making her "incompatible with life." Advised to terminate the pregnancy, the Smiths chose to carry their child and allow room for a miracle. This is Angie's faith-filled story of losing her child, interwoven with the biblical story of Lazarus to help those who mourn to still have hope - to find grace and peace in the sacred dance of grief and joy."

This contest runs from September 15, 2010 through October 15, 2010 and is open to U.S. residents. Enter at http://www.christianbook.com/Christian/Books/giveaway?code=464283

Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awarness Month

The month of October has traditionally been set aside as a time of awareness and remembrance for children who have died during pregnancy or early infancy. In just over two weeks there will be a specific day, Oct. 15, where state governors will issue official proclamations, public observances will take place, and individual grieving hearts will quietly light candle to celebrate the much-to-quickly-passing of the earthly lives of our children. To look for information on local observances or to find out more about National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day please visit october15th.com

Are Children Replaceable?

Today I am delighted to share with you a guest post from Lori, mom to Matthew, born onto earth on November 28, 2009 (after a 10-year-infertility battle) and born into Heaven the very next day. Lori has been amazingly transparent on her blog through this grief journey and now adds to the delicate balance of learning to live after loss, the joyful/nervous anticipation of baby Luke due next January. Her recent reflections on the book of Job blessed me this week and I pray they will minister to you as well:

So, I'm just going to put it out there. I've been very, very aggravated with the story of Job since Matthew died.

And if I'm really honest, a little aggravated with God's mentality (or what I believed it to be) in the whole resolution and ending of Job's story.

Because while there are many lessons learned, pieces of wisdom and insight to be gleaned and comfort found (although I admit, still some questions!)...one thing has just really, really bothered me.

At the end...when Job's faithfulness is 'rewarded' and he is 'doubly blessed', I've been aggravated with the notion that everything he lost doubled and some new children could make it all better. More specifically, he lost seven sons and three daughters...and getting seven new sons and three new daughters was supposed to be a reward? Like those children were just replaceable with seven new sons and three new daughters?

I've often thought, "No wonder Job's wife felt like cursing God. Her babies were gone and she thought God did it." I don't believe that's the way to go about it, but I have to admit I could sure see her perspective.

So anyway...I've not been happy with the resolution of seven new sons and three new daughters. They don't replace those first children, nor could the space in Job's heart or his wife's heart be filled with 'new children'.

I had a CASA meeting tonight and was driving home. I had the radio on and it was XM station 170, Family Talk. It was some preacher, and I didn't necessarily recognize his voice. I listened mindlessly for a few minutes (long day!) and then decided I'd put some music on. So right as I was about to turn the channel, I heard the guy say something about death and the book of Job. I stopped for a second and he went on to further say that for anyone who's ever lost a loved one, and more specifically, a child, the book of Job should present problems at first. Well...I was hooked. And listened. He said that if we paid attention, all the stuff Job had in chapter one was replaced and in double the quantity by the end of Job. All but the children. I'd never actually paid attention to the number of children Job was again given, if I think about it. I just knew he'd been given more children and somehow life was good again. So, the guy goes on and says, "If you have ever lost a child, this should bother you. Children are not replaceable."

I teared up.

He then noted that we had to dig a bit deeper, though and note the significance. Job received seven more sons and 3 more daughters--NOT 14 more sons and 6 more daughters, as would fit the double blessing recipe.

Why not? Everything else was returned and he was doubly blessed. Why not the children too?

Because, just as this guy said...children are NOT replaceable. Job WAS doubly blessed with children...it's just that the first seven sons and three daughters were waiting for him in Heaven and his 'double blessing portion' of children, if you will, was there on earth with him now.

He *was* doubly blessed with children...but half were just waiting in Heaven for him.

As my Matthew waits for me.

And oh, my sweet Matthew....mommy waits for you.

I too have been doubly blessed...with one in Heaven waiting for me and one inside me kicking around for more ice cream.

There are no coincidences, friends. That random man's words were meant just for me.

Maybe for you too?

Infertile in Colorado?

If you are (or know) a Christian woman living near Denver/Colorado Springs and are currently living through the daily heartache of primary infertility (no living children), could you please email me at jsaake AT yahoo DOT com immediately? A producer for Focus on the Family is looking to speak with someone in that area and I would like to put you two in contact with one another.

Creative Desires

"God had the desire to create new life, and he wanted to create it in His own image. If He, being perfect and complete had this desire to create, how could it be selfish or wrong? And because He created us in His image, with many of His attributes, it should come as no surprise that we share His desire to create. If we yearn to take part in the miracle of creating a new life 'in our image' with attributes like our own, and want the intimacy of nurturing our child to maturity, that is only natural. This yearning is God-given and a part of how we are created. It’s no wonder that we can feel jarred and confused when we are unable to fulfill it."

- From, The Ache for a Child, by Debra Bridwell

adoption loss through death

Many of us within adoption circles, especially within the Christian adoption world, know of Steve and Mary Beth Chapman, their work in helping to fund adoptions though their organization Show Hope, and of the tragic death of their 3rd adopted daughter, Maria, at age 5. Mary Beth's new book, Choosing to SEE: A Journey of Struggle and Hope is currently being offered at 1/2 price through Monday, Aug. 23, at CBD.

Day of Hope

Have you ever seen those beautiful photos of a baby's name written in sand? Did they sting your heart as you looked to your own empty arms? Did you realize they were in honor and remembrance of precious babies who left the wombs or arms of their mothers much too soon?

If you or a loved one has suffered the death of a baby at any time from conception through infancy, Aug. 19 is an anual day set aside to stop and remember with love. Feel free to visit august19thdayofhope.blogspot.com to grab your own free memorial butterfly photo like this one I'm posting in memory of Noel Alexis (age 15), Joel Samuel (age 9) and Hannah Rose (age 8) along side many other Mommies honoring their sweet children in Heaven today.

 Praying for every heart aching over the death of your baby, asking our Father, who holds our children in His arms, to hold our hearts just as closely.
(Also remembering my days of "envying" even mothers through loss because the sting of infertility, of not being anyone's Mom, even to a child awaiting me in Heaven, hurt so deeply. If this is where you find yourself, grieving without a specific child to grieve, I'm praying for you today as well!)